If asked to describe myself with a few key words, I feel almost certain that “ambitious” would not be on the list. This is not to say that I don’t have certain aspirations, but I would not go so far as to call them ambitions. Specifically, I want to talk about a certain aspiration of mine that I have trouble with: writing.
The written word can be as much of an art form as music, painting, and performance when used gracefully. As with any art, each artist has his or her own particular style. I consider myself somewhat whimsical, with an inexplicable (and unapologetic, damn you) adoration for alliteration abounding and a passion for a purposeful plethora of parenthetical punctuation (case in point, every single post that I’ve submitted so far on this site has contained at least one parenthetical aside; it’s just how I roll, baby). My grasp and control of the English language is a personal point of pride, and I adore the written word as a true art form, but what is an artist without imagination and inspiration?
Ah, now we come to the crux of my aforementioned trouble. The well is dry; to be perfectly honest, I hold some doubt as to whether the well was ever…well, wet.
Allow me to explain; to elaborate; to explicate; to expound; to, dare I say, elucidate.
Once an idea has taken root (in the well; I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense, just go with it), my mind is capable of creating the entire tree; every branch, leaf, knot, and twig starts growing and taking form beautifully. My problem is in finding a seed (something to write about) and in finding a mental connection that I feel will plant said seed (so that it can, you guessed it, take root). For example, consider the majority of my college papers. I spent more time staring at a blank screen than I spent writing them. Once a single sentence, regardless of its eventual placement in the paper, managed to make its way to the screen, the rest would just flow from my fingertips, but finding that first sentence was a (pardon my English) bitch. The main reason for my previous (and potential future) lack of activity here is this very issue; the initial idea and a connection to that idea.
I found the seed of a novel, half a decade ago. The damn thing just won’t plant.